Mama to be or Adoptive Mama to be? Is there a difference?

I've personally watched friends make their pregnancy announcements and (especially for a first child) it can resemble a middle schooler's reaction to running into One Direction on the street.  There is cheering, squealing, excitement, tears, hugs... you get the picture.  And there SHOULD be.  Anytime there is an announcement of new life, it's cause for a big celebration.

Adoption announcements (in my limited experience) come across a little differently.  For the most part, people- especially those close to you- are excited but in many cases, I've noticed that the "congratulations" also come with warnings and questions and the dreaded recommendations that start with, "Well, have you tried....".  I'd say at least 50% of our initial adoption announcements usually ends up being a conversation and explanation about what we've tried and haven't tried, listening to how we need to relax and lose our stress and we'll just get pregnant on our own, and warnings from Lifetime specials or urban adoption myths where there are biological parents lurking in the bushes ready to steal a child away so we should always be on guard.  There are home remedies to be given and passive-aggressive statements on how they feel regarding open adoptions and getting to know birth parents.

Lately, because of the responses above, I sometimes find myself hesitating over sharing adoption news- sometimes it almost comes across as a guilty confession- we can announce, but also have to rush into our reasons, my medical history and our challenges- like we have to validate our choice.  And I'll be honest, that is frustrating because once in awhile, all a girl really wants is some squealing and hugging.  And really, who wants to drag up their medical history and it's failures time and time again?!

Last week, I had my first appointment with a new lady doctor who is also an OBGYN.  I was a little nervous, but this dr. came highly recommended and I am so glad now I followed this recommendation because when we first sat down and adoption came up, she immediately had the most excited reaction.  She hugged me, sat me down and said, "You're going to be a mother soon, so I'm going to treat you just like I treat all my other patients."  With that, we proceeded to talk about my diet, the rest I'm getting, stress and I left not only with a completed physical but list of pediatricians and peace of mind that physically I had some care during this process.  The only thing missing was an  ultrasound.

I couldn't believe it and walked out of there shell-shocked.  Then it occurred to me- this was the first time someone out of my close circle actually treated me like a mama-to-be, not an adoptive mama-to-be.  And I'll be honest, it sparked something in me- a sweet positive emotional high that I'm still feeling 2 weeks later.

So, for those of you who know people who are planning to adopt, please take this friendly advice:  Be EXCITED for your friends!  Yes, it's scary and yes there are unknowns, but these mamas and daddies-to-be want to experience the giddiness and excitement and planning and prepping that comes with the territory of preparing for baby.  They don't necessarily want to feel like they have to defend or explain their journey to everyone every time.  Because here's the deal;  we ARE parents-to-be.  We just don't have the due date yet.

Wanna follow, pray, share or give towards our journey?  You can do so here:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund