Racing...

If you travel frequently like I do, I'm sure you've had the feeling before when you have an early flight and you find yourself racing.

*Racing to get out of bed for that so so early alarm

*Racing to finish packing (because there's always something I forgot)

*Racing to the car, praying there's gas cause I do not have time to stop

*Racing through traffic

*Racing to find parking

*Racing to get to get through security as fast as possible

And then, after all that racing, you sit.  And wait.  It may be 10 minutes or it may be an hour but after all that racing, there is a certain amount of waiting that happens while you wait for your plane to board.

In some ways, that's where we are right now.  We are RACING.

*Racing to complete home study documents

*Racing to find every piece of paperwork needed for the social worker

*Racing to fire/safety-proof our home for our home visit

*Racing to get photos taken for our profile

*Racing through all of the documents, questionnaires, statements and narratives we've had to present

*Racing through the planning, fundraising, stressing, budgeting and details that seem to crop up every single day

But pretty soon, all that racing is going to come to a halt and then... we'll be waiting.  It could be 10 days or it could be 10 months, but it's the waiting that is right around the corner.

I talked with our social worker today and she mentioned that it's normal to feel antsy because after so much racing, the waiting can seem tough.  It definitely feels like a looming time period that I'm not sure I'm ready for.  I mean, sure, we could get matched right away and have a baby by Valentine's but the truth of adoption is it's a waiting game.

What will happen when the RACING is over?  How in the world will I occupy my time during the WAITING?

If you've got some helpful tips, please feel free to share.  I have to say, as much as the RACING has really been stressful, I am a little nervous about the WAITING that is about to start.

If you would like to pray, share or invest in our journey, please do so here:

www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

Baby C. Fundraising Progress

To celebrate National Adoption Month, our friends and family have just come together in AMAZING ways to assist in helping us raise our remaining funds needed for Baby C.  Since we are headed into the holidays, there are all sorts of opportunities to give, share and participate.  Here's our breakdown- please share with your friends and family:




NOW - November 26th
Stock up on your makeup and beautify yourself for the holidays!  My mazing cousin Bethany (and prayer partner through this journey) is offering to share some funds from her Mary Katy business.  Visit her site here and enjoy all of the MK offerings for skincare, makeup and special holiday items!

NOW-December 4th
Calling all Middle Georgia friends with kids!  Monkey Joe's in Warner Robins is hosting a fun night Sunday, December 4th, where proceeds of tickets sold will go towards our adoption fund!  If you are in town from 6pm-8pm, please stop by!  I will be there and would love to see you!  If you can't come and are interested in pre-paying for tickets, please contact MJ's here for more info!

NOW while Supplies Last

My sweet cousin Lindsay held an online ornament party with customized Minecraft ornaments and other goodies included some paintings by her 6 year old daughter with all proceeds going to our fund.  She's still got some left- contact her for more details!

Still going strong...

Our You Caring site is still up and running... so if you'd rather just give a financial gift there, you can do so.  I'll have some updates on our homestudy progress later- there's so much we're working on, and knowing there are those out there willing to participate, share, and give is so comforting.

Coming soon...

One of the vendors I partner with at work, Rossmore LA has generously donated some sterling silver jewelry to our cause.  I'll be doing a live Facebook event closer to December for an opportunity to buy some of this amazing jewelry.  Everything is hand-crafted and one of a kind.  I can't wait to share and will keep you posted!  Here's a sneak peak of some of the amazing pieces...





All of a sudden, there are so many things happening and we are working our adoption from several different angles as we prep for our homestudy and birthmother profile.  To know there are also some sweet friends and family who are helping keep our fundraising going is so comforting and appreciated.  Please continue to share and pray for us and thanks in advance!

A Music Story and Prayer

Music has been a part of my life since I was very young.  My mom made sure to have singing time every day and I began piano lessons at 6.

Yep.  That's me ready to go for my first recital.  Cute, right?

I played piano, sang and eventually got into musical theatre, but what stuck from beginning to end was piano.  When I was 15, my parents surprised me with a beautiful baby grand that's when my playing really got off the ground.  I played for pleasure, I played for church, I practiced for lessons, I played for shows, I played for parties.  During my single days, my piano went with me to each apartment and house, and my roommates and I had a blast with piano parties, singing show tunes, practicing audition songs and even teaching voice and piano lessons.  I dug through my Facebook archives and these are the only photos I have of the piano- although I know my mom has more. 

These pics were taken at a cast party and I was clearly in my element.

I took piano lessons for 12 years, entertained and played countless hymns and showtunes (depending on the audience), but when we got married and moved to NYC, the feasibility of a baby grand in at 5th floor walk-up didn't make sense, so Mom and Dad graciously agreed to take custody of the piano.  But every holiday, every trip home, I would grab my visitation rights and head back to Georgia to play, make music and sing my little heart out.

It was always our thought to bring the piano over to Texas once we bought a house- in fact, we picked our house knowing there was a perfect space for the piano- it was a sticking point we gave our realtor.  Since starting to pursue adoption, however, one of the items that God really placed on our heart was the piano.  As much as I'd like to imagine a future with that specific piano at home in Texas, the hard facts are that the cost of the adoption are taking a front seat and requiring us to really think about our wants vs. our needs.

We've been completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support.  Through our savings and your giving, we're almost halfway to our total adoption costs of $40,000 after 1 month of sharing our story.  Mr. A and I are so grateful and as we continue to save on our end, it's become very clear to us that part of our journey includes trying to sell the piano to assist with adoption expenses.

It's a little bit of a shot to the heart, believe me, but this journey is not without it's hard decisions.  And we want to be faithful and do what we can so a door is opened for a child.

So, we're trying to sell our piano, and we've reached out and let people know and there have been some nibbles but so far, nothing yet.  I am writing to ask you all to please pray for this very specific request.  Pray we can find a buyer.  Pray someone in Georgia is interested and is able to raise the funds.  Pray God opens up funding for this to happen.  You have all been so faithful in your giving and support, I know I can ask you to be faithful in your prayer.

Now, music comes in other forms.  Pretty much every day my nephew and I FaceTime and sing to each other and it's the best part of my day. 

And one day there will be a piano again.  But right now, this piano, which has brought me so much joy is also going to help add to our family and I can't think of any sweeter music to my soul.

*If you know of anyone in the Middle Georgia area who may be interested or who may know of someone interested, can you please share this post with them?  Thank you for your prayers!

Would you like to pray, share or invest in our adoption journey?  You can do so here:

www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

A Birthday Letter From My Mother

Happy Birthday to me on the 15th!!

Normally, birthdays are a hit and miss, since every year that goes by has normally just reminded me of what I'm missing.  But this year it's different.  I'm lighter, more excited and really anticipating what this will bring.

The day of my birth was a major one in the tiny town of LaGrange, Georgia.  I was the first baby to ever get to stay in the room with the parents- it was a pretty big deal and the local newspaper even wrote an article (complete with my first public photo) about the notion of babies staying with the mother.  In thinking about being a parent, I think about my parents.  What did they feel when they saw me for the first time?  In those first few days of bonding, were they just overwhelmed with joy and happiness?  Did they know even then how much that relationship would define all of us for the rest of our lives?

My mom has been a source of education, knowledge and the best prayer warrior I know and she and my dad have written a sweet letter to all of you that I wanted to share along with an exciting piece of news:
In honor of the big day, any donations towards our adoption journey on October 15th will be matched by my parents.  I am so grateful for them and for all of  you.  Please see the below, share this story through your social feeds and if you can, give on October 15th.

You can do so here:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

From my mom:

Whoever would have known that in 1989, God began to prepare my heart for adoption of a grand baby! I had the opportunity to work for a Christian adoption agency in Macon, Ga. I was responsible for conducting Home assessments for couples adopting in Romania from orphanages. As the agency grew, I was the Adoption Caseworker for domestic adoptions . 

My life was impacted by so many couples that desired to parent ...and birth parents in crisis that chose an adoption plan for their child. What an awesome job and privilege to see God match the right baby in the best forever family ! Many of these babies have graduated from high school now and have thrived in their family. Some adoptive couples met their baby in the hospital the day they were born and others were introduced on "placement day" in our office . Regardless of the circumstances, it was a day of tears and thanksgiving!

In 2005 after our relocation to Atlanta , I began working for the State in the Foster Care and Adoption unit . A different experience witnessing children being removed from homes due to neglect or abuse . We worked hard to reunite these families through many services and court plans but there were some that adoption was best for the child . What a celebration to have a child with their forever family!

Through this job, God continued to teach me about His love for children and birth parents that are unable to parent.

My retirement from social work was rewarded with the opportunity to be a "nanny" for 2 children that God blessed through adoption . I was actually at the hospital when the oldest went home with his forever family! Lots of tears of joy!

And now I am a Nana to two precious grandsons! God is faithful and we want you to know we are committed to Katy and Adam's adoption journey! We will love this child and always have respect and grateful heart for sacrificial birthparents who have made an adoption plan.

We've been so humbled by the prayers, donations  and support of our family and friends ! And just wanted you to know we are committed to this journey as well!

In closing, when Katy was only 12 years old and lived in Macon ,Ga. she was introduced to the ministry of Adoption!

God brought Adam into our family to love and NOW we anticipate a grandchild through adoption.

Happy Birthday Katy!!! Love you and Adam! And Committed to be Forever Nana & Granddaddy!

PS

We are matching your support in honor of our bday girl and her precious husband!

www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

Thanks Mom and Dad!  We love you!

Nana and Granddaddy

The Failures of the Body and Hope of the Heart

**Disclaimer** This post contains some medical knowledge surrounding our infertility, my personal struggles and is pretty emotional (at least for me).  Please note that infertility has many faces and many paths- I'm not advocating for a particular type of treatment or option- this is simply our path.

For a long time, I took personal responsibility for our failure and inability to get pregnant.  To explain further, let me give you a little personal medical history:

Before marriage and babies even entered my head, I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) at 18.  Physically, this means small cysts have taken residence in my ovaries. Symptomatically, this can mean a host of different side effects and it's different for every person.  For me, these included:
Weight gain
Low metabolism
Inability to ovulate
Hormonal imbalance (low estrogen)
Irregular periods
Heavy cramping
Some women exhibit these same symptoms.  Others don't have issues with weight gain but their periods put them on bed rest.  Some ovulate just fine, but the suppression of estrogen causes mood swings and depression.

For 20 years, I've been searching for answers to combat PCOS- I'd go on these crash diets, lots of pills to regulate hormones and periods, regiments of extreme charting of symptoms as well as months (sometimes years) of denial and pushback to just live "normally" and not under the radar of this disease.  I'd get frustrated that normal dieting and exercising wouldn't work for me, yet not want to commit to the extreme steps I'd have to take for fear that I would lose parts of my life I considered "normal" (going out with friends, enjoying food/drink like everyone else).  This has led to what is still a seesaw of back and forth that I still have trouble managing.

When we started seeing our reproductive endocrinologist in TX, my assumption was that I wasn't getting pregnant due to the constant symptoms of my PCOS.  Instead, to be safe, the doctor recommended additional and tests to rule out what could also be other factors.  We agreed and in doing so, we also found the following:
Fibroids in my Uterus
Blockage of my Fallopian Tubes

Even with the fibroids, blockage and PCOS, the doctors have been hesitant to truly define my infertility.  People with PCOS have been able to get pregnant, fibroids can be removed (I've had 2 surgeries to remove), but even with some intense procedures, every month, we saw the same negative pregnancy test and I think I felt a little more broken every day, not to mention the expenses that started to pile up with each test and procedure.

You see, I viewed infertility as it being about me- my failures, my inability, my brokenness.  I felt like I was cheating my husband and my parents with my inability to give them that next generation. I felt personally responsible for denying my nephews more cousins in their life.  I really took my medical issues personally and the more I searched for answers, the further I felt I was getting from where we wanted to be.

When we started talking about adoption initially, I was hesitant to bring it up.  If I opened up to adoption, wasn't I confirming my own brokenness?  I'll admit, for a few weeks I felt like I was in the middle of a mental and emotional boxing match- but at the end of the day, I kept asking myself the question, "Why do you want to grow your family?"  Was it just to experience pregnancy?  Was it to ensure our bloodline grew to that next generation?

I think others who adopt go through similar self-questioning so for me, once I started asking these questions I realized that this infertility journey- so far- had been so selfishly about me.  MY inability, MY failure, MY body.  Adoption, however, isn't about ME.  It's bigger than me, bigger than my husband and it doesn't rely on the faults of my body but instead on the courage and love of everyone involved- me, Mr. A, the birth parents, the adoption agency, our families, etc.  And I'll be honest, in our decision to move forward with adoption, I've felt a lightness and a freedom that I haven't experienced in a long time.  This has been confirmed by the outpouring of support we've received since our big announcement.

I will always struggle with PCOS and the effects of it- our adoption journey doesn't change that.  I will always struggle with weight issues, will probably always feel some type of body image issues and will continue to fight to figure out a balance between my disease and living my life.  But now, our future family is not dependent on my PCOS- and my heart has never felt more full.

Want to pray, share or invest in our journey?  You can do so here:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund