Finalization

It's hard to believe our little angel has been with us a little over 6 months.  Harder still to look back over this whole process and be amazed at how God's plan has been so perfect.  Our little baby has grown- in size and personality- and every day is a new joy.  I've learned parenthood is so hard but so wonderful.  Sleep is overrated and 4am snuggles are the best.

During our 6 months together, there's still been some final details of the adoption that we were waiting on- post placement visits and our finalization.  Each month, our social worker would come visit and interview us on our transition and FINALLY, this week we traveled to Ft. Worth for our finalization in front of the judge.

Never having been to court before except for mock trial in high school, I wasn't sure how to look at finalization.  I had heard it would be quick and pretty informal so we invited family to come, and my mom surprised us by asking my aunt to fly in as well as the pastor who married us and his wife.  Our time in the courtroom was brief, but so emotional and wonderful as we listed to the judge ask us if we were ready to be C's forever mommy and daddy.  And, while I've always thought of myself as her mother, hearing the judge decree us to be her parents was just as sweet as when our pastor declared Adam and I husband and wife over 8 years ago.

We were blessed to have a family friend, Caroline Jurgensen- whose photography is AMAZING- document the entire finalization and here are some sneak peaks.

Answering questions from the lawyer as mom, dad and family look on.

Mr. A confirming he would be the forever daddy with our pastor smiling in the background.

Everyone with the judge- C's sticking out her tongue (her newest trick)

Happy forever family

C with her Nana and Granddaddy

Our little munchkin

Hello beautiful girl

I'm not sure how often I'll blog- I'm hoping to continue to be able to document fun aspects of parenthood, reflections on adoption and infertility, and general craziness of life.  But I have to say, concentrating on our little girl is amazing and I'm thrilled to keep that at a top priority.

I would like to say a big thank you to those who read the blog, have prayed for us, have given financially and have supported this process.  If you had asked me 10 years ago if this was how I imagined growing our family I would have said no, but looking into sweet Caroline's face, I am so glad God's plan was the one followed as now I can't imagine it any other way.

Blessings to you all!

Love,

Katy, Adam and Caroline

Dear 6-week Old You

Dear baby,

Wow, what a week we've had!  We are still working really hard on getting to know you and figuring out what makes you tick.  This week has been full of fun (and not-so-fun moments).

The FUN:
You are focusing in our faces and I can tell you want to talk to us so badly and get frustrated that you have no words yet.  But don't grow up too fast!  Your coo-ing and little baby sounds that you make are so sweet and your daddy and I just love them!

You've started to notice the world around you.  Things like the lights on the Christmas tree the tree limbs when we take walks and the ceiling fan are fascinating to you!  It's so much fun to experience the world through your brand new eyes!

The Not-So-Fun:
We are still trying to figure out what kind of formula works best with your sensitive tummy.  It's so hard on daddy and I when you don't feel good and we can't help you, so with the Dr's ok, we are trying formula #3.  The good new is that although you do have some tummy issues, you are still gaining weight like a champ!

We spent this week interviewing daycares, which breaks mommy's heart a little, but we're feeling good about the options.  Mommy's got a bad case of guilt going on, but knows that whatever school you go to will be filled with people who are ready to love on you while we are at work.  We also went to the dr. to get your 2-month shots done a little early so you can fly on the airplane soon to visit family for Christmas!  Next time Daddy's going to go to that appointment.

You are starting to fill out in your cheeks and have just the beginnings of some fat rolls in your thighs.  Every day I look into your sweet face and can't believe you are here.  With Christmas right around the corner, I will always remember this year because you have given me the wonderful gift of becoming a mother- and even with the sleepless nights, the frustration when I can't soothe you, the pit-stops to change a dirty diaper, I wouldn't change one minute of this wonderful miracle.

You've hit so many milestones already and have come so far in your little life- I can't wait to see how you tackle the next couple of weeks.

I love you very much!

Love,

Mommy

Dear 5-week Old You

Dear 5-week old you,

I know 5 weeks isn't considered a major milestone, but I wanted to write you to tell you how proud I am of you.  Your little life hasn't been the easiest one so far, but you are such a good little baby and I think we are finally starting to understand one another. 

Sometimes I worry that because I didn't carry you in my tummy, I am a little slow with my instincts when it comes to interpreting what you need.  After all, our relationship is still pretty new.  But you know what?  You are really good a communicating what you need to me.  I can tell the difference between your hungry cries and your gassy cries.  I know you love to eat, and you hate having your clothes changed- especially if we are putting your little arms through long sleeves.  I can tell when you are tired and need a snuggle and I can tell when you need some independent time listening to music in your bassinet.

Your little life hasn't been the easiest.  You had so much you had to go through during your time in the hospital, and I think you are still trying to figure things out at home.  I think you think it's funny that I try so hard to keep you on a schedule because the minute I've got it figured out, you turn the tables on me and give me that little stink eye that reminds me who is in charge now.

I know you love riding in the car, taking walks (as long as mommy brings a bottle) and eating at just about every opportunity.  Even though you are small, you have a mighty will.  You try to roll over, hold your bottle and even stand up and it frustrates you because you are a little too small but still need to try.

You love the Christmas decorations and sitting in your swing watching the lights of the Christmas tree really calms you down if you have been especially fussy.

You are an escape artist and no matter how many swaddling methods we've tried, you shed your blankets like a snake shedding it's skin.  We bought a swaddle sack and I'm still not sure you've forgiven us for that transgression.  And even though you hate getting in your carseat, that's the one place where I know you will calm down and rest.

You are a little like me in that you don't want to miss a thing, which is why you sometimes fight sleep even though your little eyes are so tired.  You like hearing mommy and daddy sing to you, and you focus on the phone when we FaceTime with your granddaddy.

Each night, when I feed you in the middle of the night, we go through the list of everyone who loves you.  Your daddy and I, your grandparents, your birth parents, your family and friends, and we end with Jesus.

We all love you so much little peanut.  I can't wait to see what we will learn about each other in the next weeks to come.

Love,

Mommy

3AM Feedings Part Two

Today my sweet girl is one month old and it is completely surreal to think that just a month ago I didn't even know she existed.  But God knew.  Baby C and I pray together when we do our feedings as I've found keeping her in a calm and quiet place not only helps with our bonding together but also helps my little gassy baby stay happy.  When we pray and when I thank God for this precious miracle, I am so amazed with His perfect timing.  For those of you who read this and are still waiting on your little miracle baby, do not be discouraged! 

So we are now a month into parenting, 2 weeks out of the hospital and life is fantastic.  Hectic, messy, exhausting and fantastic.  Every day has a consistency about it in the routine of a newborn, but each day I see something new in Baby C- she is such a little miracle!


So, now that all of my warm fuzzies are on the page, let's really talk about what has me up and typing instead of sleeping while babies sleep:

The Sound Machine

We were first introduced to this robot of a sound machine in the NICU.  The child life specialist brought it in, claiming Baby C did better when there was music around.  I mean, of course.  Between Mr. A and myself, I'm surprised my kid hasn't already asked us to audition for Annie or The Sound of Music.  Of course she likes music!  So, my mom-in-law ordered the same machine for us when we got home from the hospital.

Y'all, I realize I'm probably the last one to jump on board, but this machine is so soothing.... almost too soothing....so soothing that while it does wonders for Baby C, it also keeps Mr. A asleep through nighttime feedings....which means Mama now has two babies enjoying their beauty rest.  And full disclosure, last night when I laid down for my nap prior to the night shift, I may have turned on the ocean sounds...and fallen right asleep!

Of all the gizmos and gadgets that baby's "need" to survive and thrive, this one takes the cake.  But what's the secret of just getting baby to respond and husband to wake up?!?! 

In other news, our social worker is coming this week for the first of several post-placement visits.  When she visited last year, I made homemade muffins and coffee.  This year I'm praying I can shower and slap on some makeup in between loving on Baby C.

Happy One Month Birthday sweet Baby C!  We love you to the moon and back!

3AM Feedings Part One

Mommy has the night shift this week as Daddy goes back to work tomorrow... or today... or... wait, what day is it?!?  Yes, you veteran parents- please feel free to smile indulgently at the Mommy brain that has quickly developed inside of me in the space of a few weeks.  No, I have no idea what day it is, No I don't know when my next shower will be, and No, my lunch yesterday wasn't saltines and sliced cheese... wait that's actually correct.

Yes, motherhood is HERE and as weird and crazy and stressful as it is, I am just thrilled and thankful beyond measure!

There's so much I want to share with you all, so be warned- there may be more early AM blogging coming your way.  And unlike the past several months when I felt I had NO news to share, now, my brain is so full, I am not quite sure where to start.

Tonight for some reason, the hospital where Baby C was born has been on my mind, so I'd like to share with you a little bit about our experience, being adoptive parents on the maternity floor and later the NICU.

If you're just joining in, our timeline is as follows:

Monday- baby girl is born
Wednesday- got a call about baby girl and that our profile was being shown
Same Wednesday- learned we had been picked and went to hospital and met with Birth Mother.  Got to see baby for the first time
Thursday- spent all day with Birth Mother, baby and assorted caseworkers- placement paperwork signed
Friday + 11 more days- daily trips to the NICU to spend time with daughter
Tuesday- (16 days later) released from hospital!

All in all that's 15 days of hospital time we spent and here are some interesting things I learned, being the adoptive parent:

1. Meeting the birthmother is a life changing experience.
If you are thinking and praying about adoption, something that could seem a little scary is meeting the birth parents. I can only speak from my experience, but I can say meeting the birthmother, getting to love on her, getting to hug her and getting to talk to her will go down as one of the most precious times in my life.  Set aside your expectations and let your heart guide you through.

2. Adoption isn't as common as you might think so be careful the impression you give.
Regardless of how much I thought adoption was very commonplace, in the hospital, their main concern is to protect birth parents and babies.  So, if you get to the hospital and don't find the warmest reception at first, don't get upset. Hospitals are protecting their patients.  Our caseworker gave us great advice- to be friendly and not too pushy.  Even after our placement papers were signed, there was a paperwork hiccup on the hospital side that prevented us from asking medical information on baby C at first.  Behind the scenes we were very vocal with caseworkers and really pushing our team to work with the hospital. But in the eyes of the nurses, doctors, and administrators, we tried to be friendly, warm and just plain thankful to everyone involved in Baby C's care.  Believe me, I wanted to tattoo MOTHER on my forehead and go in guns blazing, but in the end, our friendly gentle approached worked and smoothed roads of those who may have been skeptical of adoption better than any in your face action.  It also gave Mr. A and I a chance to be a witness to so many about our faith, our belief that we were right in the middle of God's perfect plan for us, and I truly believe people responded to us in a positive way.

3. The nurses are the unsung heroes
In the middle of the paperwork, the waiting, etc., every day was spent in the quiet NICU.  Mr. A, my parents, and I took turns so at least one of us was there with Baby C as much as possible.  Let me tell you, NICU can be a scary place.  Babies are hooked up to monitors, and can be attached with oxygen, feeding tubes and medicines in most cases so a calm quiet presence is needed.  Every day the nurses got to know us a little bit more.  We listened to them, brought them treats and tried to acknowledge them every minute.  While I am not thankful my baby spent over 2 weeks in the NICU, that time was so precious.  We got lots of little parenthood trainings from the nurses- from feedings to baths, and had a hands on approach whenever we felt we needed help.  And let me tell you, if you can manage a diaper change with cords and tubes tangled around your child's legs without too much panic, you can do anything!
As the nurses and team in the NICU got to know us, we formed a special bond in our joint effort to see to Baby C's care.  In addition to all of you who were praying and sending your well wishes, we had this physical army of men and women who love these little babies so much and want them to get well.
Under our tree is the first present and it was given to us by one of the nurses to Baby C.  I'll forever be thankful for all of the gentle hands loving on my child during her first 2 weeks.

4.  Expect the unexpected and don't be afraid to call on your support system
I don't know why I thought our adoption would be a smooth road- but even in this incredible period of joy, every hour it seemed like a new hurtle would be thrown our way and we would have to navigate our way through.  Additional paperwork, additional fees, the sheer physical exhaustion of the NICU... you name it, we've experienced it over the past three weeks.  And there is NO way Mr. A and I would have been able to get through the past 3 weeks on our own.  We've had to seek out help, advice and strength from:
The Lord- I had a breakdown in the shower about halfway through our NICU stay when I realized my shoulders could not carry the weight of what was happening around me.  My faith (which has always been strong), was tested in a big way this month and I recognized very clearly that the only way I am able to make it through is by relying on His strength and not mine.
Our Parents- Financially, physically, emotionally, both of our parents have been there for us this in ways we have not recognized.  Mr. A and I are not used to asking for help, but the first call we made was to my parents, asking for prayer and support.  When you are "picked" for a possible adoption, there's also a flurry of decisions, fees, etc. that have to be decided and normally you have a few days to process, talk things over and then get back to the agency.  IN our case, they all had to be decided and within a 3 minute time span and my brain could not process it all.  A baby had been born.  Birmom wanted to meet us in an hour.  Fees were ... Paperwork required was ... and on and on.  I literally felt like my head was going to explode and am thankful for my mom (a former adoption social worker) who helped us quickly process the information we were given.  My parents drove in, Mr. A's mom is arriving this week, and the support from them has been amazing.  We would not have been able to say YES to Baby C without their help.  And I will tell you something.  Seeing your parents hold their grandchild for the first time-- there's a whole blog post needed for that warm and fuzzy feeling!
Our Network of Friends- When we got the Wednesday call, we did not even own a diaper.  But while we concentrated on the NICU, some dear friends helped set us up for Baby C to come home.  One friend brought 2 tubs of Preemie-3 month clothing, another brought her bassinet and so on.....it was so helpful to be able to just focus on Baby C.  Literally every day since we've been home, there's been a new package of diapers or formula that has arrived from a friend or family member.  It's really just allowed us to concentrate on getting Baby C used to her new environment and loving on her.

5. Breathe and know it will all be ok.
While on a short break from the NICU, some sweet friends brought by some baby stuff and someone mentioned newborn photos and how it's best to take them before the baby is 2 weeks old.  I smiled on the outside but inside I was in a complete panic.  What if Baby C stayed in the NICU more than 2 weeks?  What if we couldn't afford newborn photos with the extra costs we were paying for the adoption fees?  Was I already failing at this motherhood thing by missing out on an important step?  (this was also the day of my shower breakdown)
Adoptions won't go exactly according to my plan.  Baby won't cooperate exactly according to my plan.  Motherhood (and fatherhood) won't go exactly according to my plan.  And you know what?  That's ok.  I have child who, instead of getting newborn pics, was receiving some of the best care in the city.  And in the end, I know it's all going according to God's plan, so I can take that deep breath, take some of the weight off of my shoulders, and give it to Him.

I am so thankful for our timline and our hospital experience.  While it was certainly not what we expected, I am already seeing so many blessings from our time there.

So, now it's 4:12 and Baby is making some interesting noises... is it possible she's hungry again?!?  Maybe.  She eats like a teenage boy, but I'm told that's a good thing at this age.

Tomorrow Daddy's back and work and Mommy is on her own- I'm sure that will give me TONS of great blogging material for later in the week...

Much love to all...

Mama C

Sweet Baby C

It’s amazing what can happen on a regular Wednesday. One minute you are at work and the next you get a phone call that will change everything

“A baby was born this week and you were chosen...”

After that it all went a little blurry. Calling my husband. Calling my parents. Rushing to the hospital while on the phone with the caseworker. Meeting the birth mother. And then, holding the baby. Our baby. It’s true what people say. The minute her Birth Mom placed her in my arms I thought, “Of course. Here you are. I’ve been waiting for you. You are my baby.”

Fast forward to more blurry moments. More discussions with the caseworker. Discussions with my husband. Waiting. Praying. Visiting baby. Visiting Birthmother. Text updates to family. Signing paperwork. More waiting. Praying. And then, just like that our little family grew by one.

Of course it wasn’t that simple. There are countless details that still need to be worked out. Decisions to be made, appointments to schedule.  We are buying diapers, outfitting a nursery, and spending every available minute at the hospital with baby.

Baby C is just about ready to be released from the hospital. Home for Thanksgiving hopefully and what a blessing that will be. Our little miracle. Our little angel. Our daughter.

More to come- after all this is our never ending story...

Finding our Joy

Dear friends,

It has been too long since our last update but it is with such a joyful heart that I write this post.

We have been blessed with a daughter!

To back up, on Wednesday of this week, we received a call asking if we would be open to an adoption for a baby girl that had already been born on Monday.  Yesterday (on World Adoption Day!), papers were finalized, so our little family has increased to 3!

Baby is still in the NICU as we want her strong and healthy and back up to birth weight, so please be praying for her health!  We are completely overwhelmed- after more than a year of waiting, in 48 hours our lives have completely turned upside down!

When I think about our journey, it's surreal.  The ups, the downs, the joys and the heartaches.  Today I am reminded so much of God's promises for us.  I never could have imagined this path for us, but when I held our baby in my arms and she opened her eyes and looked at me, all I could think was, "Of course, Lord. This is our baby."

2. Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

"The Lord has done great things for them."

3. The Lord has done great things for us,

and we are filled with joy.

Psalm 126

This is just a sneak peek.  More updates to come soon!  We are being private with our social media but please continue to pray!

Today is a BIG Day

It never fails.  The minute you start dating someone, people start talking marriage.  The second the honeymoon is over, people start asking babies.  And so on, and so on.

I realize this blog is mainly designed to talk about our desire to grow our family, but today, I'd like to focus on the current family for just a second.

Today is our 7th anniversary.

7 years ago today Mr. A. and I stood up in front of family and friends and tied the knot.

I think about that time in our lives so much.  We were (and are) so happy with each other.  After almost a year of long distance, we were in the same place and pledging to love and honor for the rest of our lives.  And after that we got to be together!  No more planes or phone calls, but actual face to face time.  It was amazing.

The wedding was perfect and everything I wanted.  Dramatic (of course), full of fun, personal and meaningful.

Yes, that is a backdrop in our church.  Are you surprised?!!?

There are some parts of that day that I remember with perfect clarity.  I remember my bridesmaids looking so beautiful.  I remember putting on my blue shoes that the wedding party had signed the night before.  I remember my sweet wedding planner Jayne, who passed away this year, giving me a pep talk right before the doors opened.  I remember just grinning.  No crying, no emotions other than pure joy at marrying my best friend.

I remember the reception as one big blur of dancing, hugging on friends and family and celebrating life.

I remember looking at my parents and realizing very clearly that a shift in our relationship had just happened.  I was still their daughter, but now I was married and part of a "we" moving forward.

I remember our family and friends coming from all over to be with us.  Our camp friends, NYC friends, theatre friends and family all in one space- it was so perfect.

There are plenty of times these days when it's easy to feel down and depressed.  Infertility, trying to patiently wait on the next steps with adopting, and the feelings that go with this can be so hard.  But I have to remember that I'm the lucky one here.  I already have a family and that began 7 years ago.  Together, Mr. A and I have created a life that is not perfect, but one that has been such a blessing to me.  I don't take our marriage for granted and I am very aware that I am in a minority these days.  The wedding was amazing, but we've been blessed beyond that.

Our newleywed life in NYC...

Our trips and adventures...

All our moves...

Macon...New York...Baltimore...Houston

And now getting ready for this next adventure...

I love you Mr. A.  HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!  Here's to MANY more years to come!

National Infertility Awareness Week

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week...

Man I wish I was a better writer.  If I was, I might be able to express all of this on my own, but instead, I'm borrowing from others.

I wanted to share an article that is a small portion of what USA Today is covering this week.  The struggle is real.  The heartache is real.  And even when there is resolution (adoption, surrogacy,  successful IVF, etc) it doesn't take away from what the journey looked like to get there.

I get it.  Unhappy subjects, murky areas that aren't full of sunshine, and talk of things that might get you a frowny face on Facebook are more taboo than just sharing the joy.  But there is power in letting these things out.

For a long time I internalized my grief and disappointment.  I projected a happy outside while inside I felt like a failure.  It's always my hope that while people can follow along with our journey, it will also give some courage and hope to some other woman out there who may be silently struggling.  If this is you, please know you are not alone.  Sharing these stories and talking in the open air takes away some of the power that grief and disappointment can carry.

There are so many things that people are hurting over these days and so many statistics that are staggering.  For those of you who have been praying for Mr. A and I as we have battled this issue, I can't thank you enough.

Check it out.  There are videos and stories, statistics and cold hard facts.  And many of what you will see are situations, statistics, facts and feelings that we personally have gone through and are still battling.  I'm thankful that I know God has his hand in this and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the struggle is so real.

If you are also struggling, please know you are not alone.

National Infertility Awareness Week- read all about it!

Baby Carr Update

Hi friends and neighbors and the internet!  Katy's Neverending Story has been on a bit of a hiatus lately with no good reason except life has been BUSY.  Here's an update on our crazy lives:

March- performed back in our hometown to help raise funds for Baby C.
March- work travel piled up thanks to weather delays and snowstorms
April- more work travel (trying to fit in as much as possible pre-baby)
April- weekend getaway to Austin with Mr. A to celebrate our early anniversary

Here are some adoption updates:
No news yet!

Now I've talked about the waiting game before and I am still pretty proud of myself for dealing with all this with patience- or as much patience as I can muster.  We're lucky in that we get regular updates from our caseworker (even if there are no updates to give) and we have our awesome tracker.  We can view in realtime the number of "hits" to our online profile.  I may or may not check every day.

So as of today, here's where we stand:

Now these could be skewed- it could be other prospective adoptive couples trolling to see how profiles need to be written (no judgement cause that's exactly what I did), but I do take comfort in the fact that people ARE looking at our profile and they are looking pretty regularly.  These views also don't take into account the other websites where our profile is listed- this is just the views for our specific agency.  April is a little slower than March, so I'm trying not to stress about it, but all in all, I'm feeling good.

So, between checking on our status and working like crazy, so far Mr. A and I are handling the waiting game pretty well.

We're getting noticed online.  WIN.
We've taken a couple's weekend away just for us.  WIN.
We've "tested" every glider in the state of Texas on it's baby-rocking aptitude.  WIN.
We've slowly started to add to the nursery.  WIN.
We've talked semi-seriously about baby names.  WIN.

I've also recently dropped some of the adoption groups and boards I originally joined when we started this process.  I've found that for the most part there are just too many opinions to go around.  And with opinions comes judgement and with judgement comes guilt and stress and that's not something we need when we don't even know what type of situation we are going to be presented with.

Here's the one piece of advice I'll ever give.  If you are considering adoption, talk to your friends and family about it.  Get the story from someone you know who's been through it.  Your situation may not be the same, but there's a bunch of "stranger danger" reading and taking to heart the opinions and situations of complete strangers.  Use your own network of people who love you.

So, we continue to wait.  We continue to pray.  Financially we are in a good place.  We continue to add to our fund and feel confident in what we've been able to raise/save.  We continue to be overwhelmed by the shows of support we are still receiving from friends, family, and complete strangers.

You can follow our journey here:  www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

The Post-Show Show Part 1- a BIG thank you!

In theatre, there are stages to every production:

Pre-Production- this is where you have to be at your most organized.  There are so many details, rehearsals, final checks, notes and all around stresses to deal with.  Your mind is constantly spinning and working in circles frantically trying to ensure no detail is missed.

Production- this is where adrenaline and sheer determination kick in and all of the details fly away in the face of the lights, the actors and the audience.

Post-Production- this is the dreamlike euphoric state of emotions you didn't have time to process during pre-production.  You accomplished something amazing!  You bonded with people for life over this one event!  You keep creating conversations that start with, "Can you believe this happened?" or "Do you remember when...".

Well folks, I'm still in that post-production haze.  I truly meant to write about our show the next day, but several things happened:

1. A VERY early flight home.  Followed by a VERY long nap.

2.  A VERY busy workweek (probably making up for a previous very distracted workweek).

3. A VERY busy second workweek.

4. Figuring out the new routine post-production.

So, I am so sorry that it's taken me a couple of weeks to regroup.  My mom said I shouldn't stress too much about it, but I don't like silent cyberspace, so please accept my apology!  I promise, regular blogging is resuming!

So, we are working on the production video (yes there is video, and yes, some of it is so adorable I can't wait to share, but in the meantime, I did want to share a couple of stories and thank you's about our show...just in case you missed it.

So Once Upon a Time, I was a floundering 20-something single gal struggling with school, struggling with life and struggling with my place in the world.  I'll admit- I was not a rebellious teenager- instead my rebellion and angst happened in my early 20's.  I was lost.  Fast forward a couple of years to me assisting with my alma mater's one-act theatre production of West Side Story.  We won state (go Trojans!) and as an encore, we booked the Theatre Macon stage for a final performance for friends and family.  That was when I first met Jim Crisp, the artistic director.  I'd known who he was, I had seen his shows, but this was a big moment in my life- even if I didn't know it then.

It was through that performance that Jim later called and asked me to choreograph their Youth Actor's Company production of Brigadoon.  I said yes, and that started my relationship with Theatre Macon, the Youth Actor's Company, the Board of the Theatre, and my friendship with Jim, my relationship with Mr. A, and so many other friendships and partnerships that are so meaningful in my life.

It was Jim, this past Christmas as we were catching up over lunch, who had the idea to have some sort of a performance to assist in our fundraising.

Jim was at our show and gave the most moving curtain speech.  It's hard to express what he means to me, and how that one meeting so many years ago shaped so much of where I am today.  The performance last month will go down as one of my most special memories- and it wouldn't have happened without him.

I can't wait to tell our baby one day about this theatre and this man who changed my course.

Jim, you have always been a driving mentor in my life.  I'm so thankful our paths crossed when they did, and so grateful for your direction, your friendship, and your generosity.  Adam and I love you so much.

What Happens While You Wait

If you know me at all, even a little bit, you probably know that patience is something I struggle with.  I'm a "get it done now" type of person and very often, if we're not getting done quickly enough, my Type A-self will swoop in and try to take over so we can get it done more quickly.

So it's no surprise that even though it's been 2 months, the waiting piece of this adoption journey has been a killer.  In an effort to curb this impatience (although let's be honest- there are plenty of things on my plate to keep me busy--it's just that Type A roaring it's sometimes-ugly head), I've been really digging into the adoption internet land and soaking up as much information as possible on anything and everything adoption.  I've joined (and left) adoption groups, I've posted stories and articles, I've downloaded books, I've read poems and quotes...and what I discovered is a common theme about what happens during the "waiting" period.

There seem to be two schools of thought on how to handle the waiting:  1. Do everything that is easier to do pre-baby (work, vacation, lose weight, etc) and live life to the fullest pre-child OR 2. Prep and learn all you can so you are ready when baby comes.

With the first school of thought (pre-baby bucket list), there's this thought process that in order to wait, you need to distract yourself.  Distract so you don't think of baby all the time.  Distract so you don't look at the empty nursery and cry.  Distract so you don't annoy your social worker with your weekly "Any news?" emails.  Jump into Pinterest for hours searching for any tips an tricks on what to do while we wait because you're a person of action and waiting is not in your DNA.  And yes, waiting for something so big with no end date in site does require a fair amount of distraction.  If I was truly in my normal mind, I would be calling the social worker daily.  I would be crying in the empty nursery...probably daily.  But, does distraction also boil down to not WANTING to think about the waiting and not WANTING to think about the "what if" that is such a huge part of the adoption process?  Does that distraction have to do with the fact that even though we're hopeful and even though our outside shell is confident, there's a little piece of us that is lacking in the Faith that is needed when this is so out of our control?

 That second thought process is a little of the opposite.  We have so much faith and so much confidence, we are controlling what we can of the situation because we KNOW it's all going to work out.  Instead of the distraction, we are MAKING things happen.  Every nursery purchase feels like a victory and every new chapter on the newest book of baby expertise makes us a ready expert.  Every time we post an "answer" or "opinion" on the adoption blogs, we feel vindicated that we are moving in the right direction. And yes, #2 can (to some) feel like a more productive use of that waiting time.  But, really and truly, doesn't this process need some sort of a realization that you actually can't do it and you need help and support outside of yourself?  Is trying to control what you really can't control a little counter-productive?

Now granted, these are extreme schools of thought, but lately, I've found myself smack dab in the middle of these two groups.  On the outside, I'm a #2 all the way.  I've gathered the info, painted the walls, commented on the blogs, read the books, educated my friends and family- I'm on top of it.  On the inside, I am a mess.  I cry at the commercial where the mom has the new baby and does the skin-to-skin contact because I realize even when this whole thing works out, that's probably not going to be in the cards for me.  I get upset because there are times when I feel so helpless about this whole piece, I have to distract myself with what my current success is- my job- instead of acknowledging the fact that I'm a failure as a mother (and I know that's not true, but you know how our minds go, ladies).  I purposely avoid family situations and instead try to find activities for Mr. A and I that are childless so we can have fun and celebrate our pre-parent selves...and to keep me from the jealousy and the grief that still comes up from time to time.  I'm terrified of Mother's Day on one hand, and on the other, I'm so happy that one day I can celebrate that day just like everyone else.

For real- right now, I'm a multiple-personality parent to be!

Now, I know this isn't everyone's journey, but I did promise honesty in mine, so it's important to keep you updated on it all.  And, if you are also in a waiting period, I want to encourage you that waiting is hard and figuring out how to deal with it without losing your mind is not easy.  Here's the thing, though.  Waiting is part of it.  Crying is part of it.  Distraction is part of it.  Resolve is part of it.  Faith is part of it.  Needing support outside yourself is part of it.  Moving forward is part of it.  And waiting a little more is part of it again.  This is not a journey for the weak and we have to figure out in a trial-by-fire fashion how to deal with the waiting with as much grace as we can.

So, I'm probably going to keep looking on Pinterest.  And I'm probably going to work late every now and again.  And I'm most certainly going to change the channel when that commercial comes on. And I'll continue to be so appreciative of the friends and family who are waiting with me.  But seriously, let's keep the remote going so we avoid that commercial, ok? :)

*Adoption isn't without it's joys and struggles.  But it's so much easier having our friends and family as our support system.  To learn more about our journey, click here:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

Lights, Camera, Adoption!

We are less than 2 weeks away from the big show, and I am feeling so many emotions right now-- the principal one being extreme excitement!

For those of you planning on attending, I don't want to give too much away, but I have been so amazed at how this evening is turning out.  We have right around 20 people who are helping in an on-stage or back-stage capacity and my heart is SO FULL!

Back in the day, when I lived and breathed live theatre, it was no big deal to jump on stage, belt out a number and go on with my day.  These days, those "performances" are limited to singing in church next to my hubs in the audience, or belting in my car during rush hour, so it will be fun to jump back onto the stage again.

It's a little surreal thinking about our child and where their interests and talents will lie.  I used to joke that my kid would come out of the womb singing as I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me (or so my mother tells me).  Even if you are not musically talented, working in a live performing environment is supposed to teach leadership skills, self-confidence, teamwork and respect for those around me.  While my child may not come out of the womb belting show tunes, I hope that this upcoming event can be the start of a life where the arts (in some way, shape of form) is represented in their lives.

Are you in Georgia and looking for something fun to do on the 18th?  I hope you'll consider spending your evening with us!

Here's how to reserve advanced reserved seats!

As always, thank you for being a part of our story.  To pray, give or share, you can do so here:

www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

Show Tickets and Specifics

Now that the announcement is out about our upcoming performance, the interest and support has been overwhelming!  I sang extra diligently in the car this morning prepping for the big day. :)

My mom reminded me that some people may not be as familiar with our adoption fundraising website, and that is the way to purchase advanced reserved seat tickets.  Tickets will also be available at the door, but if you want to skip the wait and have a nice center section reserved seat, here's how to do it:

1. Go to our page: www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund
This is what you will see:

2. Click on the big RED button that says "DONATE NOW"

3. Fill in the information- Name, Amount (Tix are $20 so do the math on however many you want) and under the comments, let me know if you need anything special (aisle seat if we have it, or maybe you just want to donate tickets for someone else)

4. Fill out the CC or Banking Information (this is a secure website) and you are set!

So, advanced tickets- it's as easy as 1, 2, 3.

More to come on the show later- thanks again for all the support and continue to follow the blog for updates.  I will be posting more next week about the conversation I had with our caseworker- exciting!

Adoption in Big Bright Lights

2017 has NOT been the year of lots of posting and updates and I apologize to my sweet followers who keep asking for news.  Unfortunately for the most part, things have been quiet and we are in that dreaded waiting phase, however, we did get a positive call from our caseworker yesterday and our profile has been requested specifically 4 times since January.  Of course I wanted to know if that was a good number or not (always competitive!), and YES, it is a good number!  So our profile's out there and we are waiting on that right fit.

In the meantime, we are really pushing to save, save, and save some more so when the match happens we are READY.  And with that, here's the BIG announcement for you all!

Our story is coming to the stage!  And by that, our old theatre in Georgia has graciously allowed us to use the space for a one-night performance to share our story and raise funds for our cause.

When I first thought about this, I was a little scared- I mean, it's been a while since I've been on stage.  But the more I thought about it and the more I reached out to different friends and former theatre colleagues to check their interest level, it got really exciting really fast.  SO MANY PEOPLE have jumped on board to help- I have friends who are professional actors who are flying in to perform with me!  It's so humbling and exciting, and I can't wait!!

So, the information is below.  March 18th. Macon GA.  There will be some great entertainment, information about our journey, and just a great time of fellowship and fun.  If you are in the area, I hope you will consider coming.  Tickets can be purchased at the door, BUT if you want advanced reserved seats, you can simply make a donation of the ticket price ($20) to our website- just list the number of tickets you want and make sure to include your name so we can reserve them for you.

This is going to be so much fun-- if you are in Georgia and have friends/family who may be considering adoption, I hope you will also share this with them as well.

I'll see you soon on stage!

Quick Update, Big Announcement and Love Story- all in one post!

Happy February!  It's been a little bit since I've posted... here's why:

1. Out of town.  I always forget how busy the beginning of the year can be.  I was in NYC for part of January and am currently in Las Vegas for our annual company conference...which is why I'm blogging at 11:30pm cause days in LV are LONG.
2. Out of time.  Truth.  Mr. A and I have been running around so much, any extra time has been spent just trying to connect with each other.  He's been slammed between teaching and his big gig working the SuperBowl last week so when we have downtime, we're trying to just focus on us.
3. Out of words.  Ok, that's not completely true, as I ALWAYS can find something to say.  But in terms of adoption, since we're in this waiting period, there hasn't been that much to share.  Our profile is getting a healthy amount of views which is encouraging, and we continue to look at the nursery and do small updates.  But generally, things have been quiet...


I do have one piece of really exciting news- especially for our hometown Georgia friends!  Our theatre, Theatre Macon has graciously agreed to have me back for a one night only performance on Saturday, March 18th!  I'll be bringing some special friends and all proceeds will go to assist in our adoption costs... we are still trying to save/raise about $10-15K and we can't wait to use this night as a celebration with our friends and family!  So, if you are in the Macon area, mark your calendars!

And that announcement brings me to the story-time portion of this blog.  Thinking about the theatre also has me thinking about my hubs as that's where we met 10 years ago!  So, in the spirit of the upcoming Valentine's Day, I thought I would share a story about Mr. A....

I first saw Mr. A in October of 2006 when he stepped on the stage of Theatre Macon to audition for the show South Pacific.  I was signed on to choreograph and at the time had not planned on auditioning as I was also slated to direct a youth production of Oklahoma that would overlap slightly and I was pretty worn out from the mega summer show we had just done.  I was not paying attention really, but when a deep voice introduced himself and his song I immediately looked up and there was this handsome guy just singing his heart out.  I've always thought from the beginning that Mr. A was the prettier one of our relationship and Day 1 was no exception.  Blond hair, blue eyes, strong build- yummy!  I figured out right away that this was someone I wanted to get to know better.  It wasn't love at first sight, but there was an immediate kinship as we struck up a conversation after the audition was over.  Next thing you know, I asked the director if I could audition and we were cast opposite each other as the comedic leads.  And that was the beginning of the happily ever after that is our life.

I've always loved sharing the story of how we met, as it's so unique and different.  It's one of those stories that never gets old and I am so grateful for that day!  10 years later, 7 years of marriage and a child on the way, he's still that cute blond guy who makes me smile just by walking in the room.

Happy February folks, Happy Valentine's Day!  Thanks for continuing to support us and be a part of our story!  I can't wait to see you Georgia people on March 18th!

Adoption Update!

So we've been on this whirlwind for the last 4 months, and I'm so proud of how far we've come:

1. Pray and decision to follow adoption path- check!
2. Find an agency- check!
3. Announce to our friends- check!
4. Work on profile- check!
5. Work on home study- check!
6. Save/fundraise- still in progress, but a huge check!
7. Complete profile- check!
8. Receive home study approval- check!

So now we're what my caseworker calls the "waiting" phase.  And as I'm sure you know if you know me at all, patience and waiting is not my strong suit.  So, thankfully we do have a few little things taking up some of our time:
1. Work- I don't know what's in the water, but January so far has been one of the busiest work months for me to date.  It also didn't help that I was in NYC for a business trip all of last week (although being in NYC was completely wonderful so I'm not complaining).  I can't figure it out.  Work is completely nuts right now and showing no signs of letting up.
2. Home- We are still trying to finish up some last minute projects in case we get the baby call anytime soon.  Of course it did not help that in the last week, we had a sink explosion in our guest bathroom (think exploding fire hydrant... it was not pretty) and part of our fence blew away thanks to the current Texas weather we've been experiencing.  It seems like every time we turn around there's something to be done on top of the extra projects we've been planning.
3. Life- Mr. A and I are really trying to spend as much time together as possible.  Date nights, clean the house nights, turning off the TV and paying attention to each other- you name it, we're working on it.  We know this non-child life we're living has an expiration date and so we're cherishing every minute of time with each other.  It's rough as we are both really being pulled by work, but we're managing...even if our "together time" is spent mopping up water from our busted sink.  Super romantic, right?!?!

The social worker also sent a lovely "What to Expect" packet that discusses some of the things we can do now while we are in the waiting phase.  I was very excited because, you know, Ms. Impatient here so are some of the extra things we are looking at:
1. Baby registry.  I talked about this in a previous blog, but it's more than just registering.  It's really about learning what all of these gadgets and gizmos do.  And of course, tons of my mama-friends have offered to help with the registry to make sure we've got everything we need.
2. Applying for grants.  This is a harder one as I've never applied for grants before so it's a bit like taking a brand new class and I'm a little lost right now.  We are doing GREAT with our fundraising and saving, but it doesn't hurt to see what's out there.  I don't know what is out there for us, but I'm going to use my free time (ha) to see what we can do.  If anyone out there has any experience with adoption grants or funding, please shoot over any information you can!
3. Working on a jewelry fundraiser!  That's right, one of my amazing vendors that I work with has donated over 30 pieces of sterling silver jewelry towards our cause.  I'm thinking sometime around Valentine's Day so watch the blog and my Facebook page for more information.

I can't believe we're almost finished with this month.  Time has FLOWN, but what's stayed constant is the prayers, well wishes and support from all of you.  Mr. A's mom sent us a box this week filled with all sorts of stuff for baby C. and it just makes me giddy.  I'm so excited to see what's around the corner!

If you would like to pray, share or give towards our journey, you may do so here:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

Where to Prepare vs. When to Wait

In the words of Chip Gaines, "We're rockin' and a rollin' here at the Baby project!"  Now that we are Home Study approved and our Profile is live, I've been really trying to process what we can do while we're in this waiting stage.

This comes with a big question- how much do we want to do while we wait?  There are obvious pro's and con's on how to approach this piece:

1. Pro- the more prepared the better off we'll be if we are matched quickly.
2. Pro- once something happens, it's going to be quick- better to already have things checked off the list.

1. Con- what if we aren't matched quickly?  Then we're just looking at all this baby stuff every day.
2. Con- what if we are matched but it ends up failing?  Won't it hurt to be ready for a baby that's not coming yet?

At the end of the day, I'm a planner.  So, regardless of the timing and worrying about when something is or isn't going to happen, I know I'll feel better having done as much as possible to prepare for baby. Then I can just close the nursery door and be ready to open it whenever something happens.  So in that spirit, we've tried to focus on areas where we knew we could go ahead and get ahead of the game without taking away any personal preparations we'd need to do once we found out more about our match.

Through the holidays and this past week we've:
1. Painted the nursery (shades of neutral gray to compliment the white built-ins.  We got lucky here as the built-ins were already a piece of the room)

2. Painted the nursery furniture (Annie Sloan did WONDERS with this old furniture- no final pics yet as I'm still deciding on hardware, but it's a thousand times prettier)

3. Put together a crib (Mr. A calls it a jail, but it's super cute, promise.  Traditional Jenny Lind crib and the white looks really nice against the wall colors)

4. Registered at Buy Buy Baby

The last piece has definitely been the more fun of all of the "to do's" on my list, yet it came with it's own set of challenges as well.  The first being the due date.  See, when you register, you need to provide a due date.  We don't have one so we just picked a date (June 1st) as a placeholder.  The sweet gal at BBB was a little confused (I think we were her first adoptive couple) so we had to go into a little more detail than I would have liked (see previous post) on getting her on board with what we were trying to do. But after some explanation, questions and more explanations, we got our scanner and were off and running.

Mamas-to-be- a piece of advice.  Let your hubbies handle the scanner.  Mr. A. was thrilled and immediately started scanning everything in site.  Now, full disclosure- I went online later and did a little "editing" but it helped him stay into the process and watching him try to figure out what all the gadgets and gizmos were about was extremely entertaining!

For us, we concentrated on the "must have" pieces of the registry and really did not try to add on anything that would be specific to gender or age.   Yes we needed a changing pad.  Yes, we would need burp clothes.  Everything is in shades of green, gray and yellow as I'm sure once we know what's what we'll have plenty of pink or blue options to choose from.

There were a couple of pieces I wasn't sure about-
1. Diaper Genie- really?  Is a trash can not up to the job?  Please advise!
2. Travel System vs. Car Seat?  We registered for both as we had 2 different associates sell us on the merits of them.  Not sure how we feel.
3. Rocking Chair vs. Rocker vs. Glider.  Help!

Yes there are still things we could do, but for the most part, having these projects and items to work on really has helped me stay calm about the whole process.  I knew the waiting would be what drove me crazy, so I'm sure there will be more projects to come.

Thanks for staying involved in our journey!  To learn more, please visit:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

Mama to be or Adoptive Mama to be? Is there a difference?

I've personally watched friends make their pregnancy announcements and (especially for a first child) it can resemble a middle schooler's reaction to running into One Direction on the street.  There is cheering, squealing, excitement, tears, hugs... you get the picture.  And there SHOULD be.  Anytime there is an announcement of new life, it's cause for a big celebration.

Adoption announcements (in my limited experience) come across a little differently.  For the most part, people- especially those close to you- are excited but in many cases, I've noticed that the "congratulations" also come with warnings and questions and the dreaded recommendations that start with, "Well, have you tried....".  I'd say at least 50% of our initial adoption announcements usually ends up being a conversation and explanation about what we've tried and haven't tried, listening to how we need to relax and lose our stress and we'll just get pregnant on our own, and warnings from Lifetime specials or urban adoption myths where there are biological parents lurking in the bushes ready to steal a child away so we should always be on guard.  There are home remedies to be given and passive-aggressive statements on how they feel regarding open adoptions and getting to know birth parents.

Lately, because of the responses above, I sometimes find myself hesitating over sharing adoption news- sometimes it almost comes across as a guilty confession- we can announce, but also have to rush into our reasons, my medical history and our challenges- like we have to validate our choice.  And I'll be honest, that is frustrating because once in awhile, all a girl really wants is some squealing and hugging.  And really, who wants to drag up their medical history and it's failures time and time again?!

Last week, I had my first appointment with a new lady doctor who is also an OBGYN.  I was a little nervous, but this dr. came highly recommended and I am so glad now I followed this recommendation because when we first sat down and adoption came up, she immediately had the most excited reaction.  She hugged me, sat me down and said, "You're going to be a mother soon, so I'm going to treat you just like I treat all my other patients."  With that, we proceeded to talk about my diet, the rest I'm getting, stress and I left not only with a completed physical but list of pediatricians and peace of mind that physically I had some care during this process.  The only thing missing was an  ultrasound.

I couldn't believe it and walked out of there shell-shocked.  Then it occurred to me- this was the first time someone out of my close circle actually treated me like a mama-to-be, not an adoptive mama-to-be.  And I'll be honest, it sparked something in me- a sweet positive emotional high that I'm still feeling 2 weeks later.

So, for those of you who know people who are planning to adopt, please take this friendly advice:  Be EXCITED for your friends!  Yes, it's scary and yes there are unknowns, but these mamas and daddies-to-be want to experience the giddiness and excitement and planning and prepping that comes with the territory of preparing for baby.  They don't necessarily want to feel like they have to defend or explain their journey to everyone every time.  Because here's the deal;  we ARE parents-to-be.  We just don't have the due date yet.

Wanna follow, pray, share or give towards our journey?  You can do so here:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund

The Home Study

Talk about a whirlwind!  The last couple of weeks have been just that for our family.  In addition to the traditional holiday madness that always ensues, we've been working like crazy to finish our paperwork and prepare our house for our home study.  While this post may be a bit technical and lengthy, I want to ensure anyone who is considering adoption has all the facts as sometimes the idea of a home study may seem scary and overwhelming.  But for us, it's been just the opposite.

So, let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start).

An approved home study needs to be completed before a child can be placed in your home.  Home study requirements vary, based on the state, but most require the following pieces of information from the adoptive parents in order to even qualify:
     1. Proof that you are who you say you are, economically and financially
     2. Proof that you have thought about this process and are emotionally ready to parent
     3. Proof that your background, history, and home life do not raise any red flags as a potential parent

Now this is all very broad, so what it really boils down to is lots and LOTS of paperwork and answering LOTS of questions as well as:

• Doctor's statements on our health (some states require a physical)
• W2s, Tax Statements, Check Stubs and official documentation on education and employment
• Letters of reference
• Address and Work history (Ours asked for 15 years of history on both and let me tell you, remembering every place I lived while in college was a brain teaser that took 3 days to solve)
• Answering questions about our parenting skills, filling in the blanks that usually started with, "What would you do if___" and discussing our parenting styles, thoughts on discipline, goals for our child future plans regarding activities and education.
• Discussing our marriage in detail, it's successes and failures, our individual strengths and the possible parenting strengths of our partner. (this happens when the couple is interviewed individually and together)
• Writing a letter to our birth  mother (more on this in later posts as it was one of the most emotional things I've ever had to do).
• Submitting to background checks in EVERY STATE WE'VE EVER LIVED IN (this goes in all caps to give you a sense of the amount of paperwork some states require when filling out background forms- it was not pleasant)
• Proofing our home for the safety and security of our child

This is just a brief list but I hope you get the picture.  It's detailed.  It's time consuming.  It's filling out LOTS of paperwork with LOTS of questions.  It's something I really wanted to pass off or hire out for, but so important for the adoptive parents to fill out and turn in themselves. It's also important that BOTH parents take part in filling out the information and not just one parent who is impatient and just wants to get it done (I'll give you one guess as to who the impatient one was in this scenario).  Only then can we schedule interviews and visits with our social worker.  Then, they put everything together and approve us per state requirements.

For the our state, they also required a 4-page checklist to be completed on any safety and health issues on our house.  This included securing outlets with the childproof covers, getting our heating system checked, and installing a fire extinguisher that is visible in the kitchen.  No, it couldn't go underneath in a cabinet.  It had to be seen out in plain view.

Can everybody see it?!!?

Here's the interesting thing.  While it was hard to pull everything together, fill out additional paperwork and ready our house, it really forced Mr. A and I to answer questions that I'm not sure we'd be talking about now if I had gotten pregnant and we were preparing for baby in that way.  To even be able to meet with the social worker, we have to discuss how we view discipline, we have to talk about what we want our child to learn from us, and we have to be open about what from our own childhood we want to bring to our parenting skills as well as some differences in parenting we'd like to make from our own parents.  This has been SO valuable and such a blessing!

So, we turned in our paperwork right before Christmas, and I honestly didn't think we'd hear from anyone before the new year.  But, everyone seemed to be jumping to finish our file as we got a call from the social worker and had our home visit YESTERDAY!

Thank goodness the house was already in decent shape, as I'm not sure what husband really wanted to spend the Christmas and the day after deep in cleaning supplies.  Still, Mr. A was a trooper and accommodated my OCD as I was convinced that our worth would be tied to the vacuum cleaner lines in the carpet and the spotless, fingerprint-free appliances.

I think there are probably horror stories about social workers coming and "judging" your ability to parent in situations like this.  I was nervous.  I mean, this complete stranger was going to show up and use her checklist as a measuring stick for us.  I'm happy to say that my fears were COMPLETELY unfounded.  Our person was completely warm and friendly and said repeatedly that she was there to advocate FOR us, which was such a relief!

Us right before the doorbell rang!

Our visit consisted of a review of our paperwork, tour of the house and check of our safety features (yes, she looked at the fire extinguisher!) and just like that, in 3 hours it was over!

Full disclosure- I also made muffins.... it couldn't hurt, right?!?!

I think that the agency is still waiting on some background forms to come back (hint, if you've lived in multiple states in the last 5 years you have to have cleared background information from each state so it takes a little longer) but other than that we are DONE!  Once our profile is live (hopefully this week), there will be NOTHING stopping us from getting picked or matched by an expectant mama.

Here's the thing about adoption and the way it works.  It's a process.  There are steps and until those steps are taken, you can't take the next steps.  It's also different from what you thought your process might look like.  But what's so rewarding and thrilling are the positive and encouraging people who WANT to advocate for you and your future family that come along the way.  God showed me that with this home visit.  I complained (a bunch) about this part of the process, but now that we've seen the social worker and she's seen our house and seen us interact as a couple, I see how this all fits in as a piece of the bigger puzzle.

If you would like to pray, share or invest in our journey, you can do so here:
www.youcaring.com/carradoptionfund